


The Ten Original Plot Lines

by Barb G (troutkitty), devo



Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-08-28
Updated: 1999-08-28
Packaged: 2017-10-24 15:18:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/264966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troutkitty/pseuds/Barb%20G, https://archiveofourown.org/users/devo/pseuds/devo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a truism of literature that there are only so many core plots to be had.  Hero's journey,revenge of the thwarted lover, the search for the grail, yadda yadda yadda.</p><p>So, too, in Highlander fanfic.</p><p>Here they are, in the tradition of Lum and Ellen's "Lessons in Futility" (see # 4, below).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ten Original Plot Lines

**1.** The Duncan/Methos "first time" story. Methos loves Duncan but will never tell. Duncan loves Methos but will never tell. One of them, in a drunken or otherwise non mentis state confesses to Amanda or Joe. Joe counsels honest discussion. Amanda offers toys. Variation, the confession is elicited by torture of old lover/enemy/sex slave of Methos's.

  

  *  **Resolution:** Methos finally initiates Duncan in mindblowing tantric sex. Much almond oil is used, tripling the value of Methosgrrl's stock portfolio. Alternatively, Duncan surprises the bejeesus out of Methos by possessing, not one, but a graded assortment of butt-plugs. 
  



**2.** All is happy in Mudville until arrival of scarred, large, and sadistic Kimmie of the Week. Bonus points for non-Celtic name. Extra bonus points if Methos is on the verge of confessing undying love to Mac. Duncan anguishes over whether to kill Kimmie. Bonus points if Kimmie tortured/possessed/was love pet of Methos in past life.

  

  *  **Resolution:** Duncan whacks Kimmie. 
  

  * **Alternate:** Season 6 Duncan meditates until the bad guy disappears. 
  

  * **Second Season 6 Alternate:** Kimmie is revealed as Spin-off try-out boy.  




**3.** Duncan, Methos, fruit. Alternates: chocolate, antique bed, shopping, picnic, awards night, pasta sauce, crayons, exotic locale recently visited by writer (or net-scooped). No actual plot.

  

  *  **Resolution:** What do you think?
  



**4.** Steal plot idea from Lum or Suze. Bonus points for not leaving any unchanged names. Gratuitous filching of chain choreography. Claim it was a "mutual writing experiment", then change email addy. If pressed, blame mix-up on unnamed one-armed man (not Krycek! -- he has enough to worry about, poor baby). ****

  

  * **Resolution:** Slink away in shame, hounded by scorn of scandalized list-sibs.
  



**5.** Exotic female immortal bursts into dojo, displays magical powers and/or superior fighting skills, frenches Methos in front of Duncan, then locks both in room until they fuck like bunnies.

  

  *  **Resolution:** the boys contemplate or even engage in a menage in gratitude, but eventually settle on an undying tryst with each other. Bonus points if one of them of them takes her  
head. 
  



**6.** Amanda plays with the boys.

  

  *  **Resolution:** See item 4, above. 
  



**7.** Crossover, Type A: Duncan and Methos meet any two boys from another series (e.g., Jim and Blair, Paris and Chakotay, Frasier and Ray, Mulder and Skinner, Mulder and Krycek). All four fall madly in lust. A fortune in lube is dissipated in an afternoon (weekend, month, year). ****

  

  * **Resolution:** Duncan and Methos realize, that while this was highly entertaining/moving/mind-blowing/mystical (not to mention illegal in 48 states and 10 provinces), their undying love was meant only for each other. Their union is blessed by the other pair in Vulcan mind-ritual or variant. Warning: diabetics should read with caution.
  



**8.** Crossover, Type 2: One or both of the boys encounters another immortal being with unusual powers (e.g., vampires, star-men, mind-controlling aliens, Krycek). Methos surrenders. Duncan fumes.

  

  *  **Resolution:** Duncan wrests Methos from alien's seductive mind-control. Bonus points if he removes Krycek's remaining arm.
  



**9.** Duncan's morality meets Methos' past. Again. Methos is revealed to have ridden with Ghengis and Atilla, mentored Jack the Ripper, and betrayed Trotsky to Stalin.

  

  *  **Resolution:** After much angsting, hasty international departures, and trashing of decor, Duncan forgives Methos and they make love in mind-blowingly tender sex. Alternate: Duncan establishes alpha dominance over Methos. Methos whimpers like a puppy. 
  



**10.** Duncan or Methos kill Richie. Again.

  

  *  **Resolution:** None. But don't worry, there is always an a.u. Which brings us to:
  



**11.** Alternate Universes. The boys get to wear (and, of course, remove) cool costumes in a variety of historical, intergalactic, or fantastical settings. Duncan and Methos explore the pleasures of alternate power-roles with each other. Plot details: various. Bonus points for creative use of tent pegs.

  

  *  **Resolution:** We're still waiting!!! 
  



**12.** (okay, we lied on the number -- it's fanfic! give us a break!) The H/H/H/HHA/HHSM/R/HC story. That's Hurt/Hurt/Hurt/Hurt him again/Hurt him some more/Revive/Hurt Continues story. (devo: I did mention barb was visiting, didn't I?) (barb: "bad, Ladonna! bad! bad!") Bonus points for use of Hiper Bunny as technical advisor in charge of Sharp Pointy Things.

  

  *  **Resolution:** Comfort? Get real. They're immortal. The bruises fade. Darn. Besides, Methos needs the pain to atone.
  



**13.** Cassandra hits town. Any number of punishment/forgiveness scenarios ensue.

  

  *  **Resolution:** See above, items 9 (Methos' past) or 12 (Methos atones). Fanfic discussion war breaks out. 17 people unsub over gender politics versus crazed bitch with bad nail-job debate. A slash versus non-slash debate mysteriously erupts out of nowhere. Swan-song posts abound. List re-forms with discussion of favorite Duncan or Methos scenes. Dangly parts are worshiped. Kady Mae gets a new pair of panties. Again. Kronos-muse mutters darkly. Blair-muse hides, finds Methos in closet with him, and hides deeper behind the leather pants. Confused crossover ensues. Melina cites canon, dissolving confusion. Ellen exegetes canonical discussion, with references and addenda. All is well. Two erstwhile fanfic writers on vacation post silly lit-crit commentary, then hide behind couch, peering out only long enough to check email for much desired feedback.
  




End file.
